(c) 2008 Lewis D'Aubin - ldaubin@bellsouth.net

C.O.G. has been a growing local sensation for the last 12 years, and what started as a high school garage recording project gave rise to a stage show, toured the science-fiction con scene, graduated to the regional club scene, and reached its local pinnacle with a popular local cable access show that appeals to all ages and has proven especially popular with kids. C.O.G. has surrounded itself with proficient artists and technicians who are now ready to take the show to the next level.

The Consortium of Genius brings to television hard-rocking science fiction humor - subversively edgy action and comedy combined with music in every popular style imaginable. A show for people who like tunes, toons, adventure, and outrageous pop-culture comedy.

The Consortium of Genius, or C.O.G., consists of three musical mad scientists and one smart-alecky robot, operating from a secret underground laboratory. Every week, their leader, Dr. Milo T. Pinkerton III, attempts a new scheme for taking over the world. And each week, a person or group (played by guest musician/actors) steps in to stop them. Things end catastrophically for the C.O.G., with Dr. Pinkerton's plan backfiring spectacularly.

The universe inhabited by the Consortium of Genius is one of pulp science fiction and fantasy. Super-science and the supernatural are common realities in this world, even if they are not often seen by common people. Behind the veneer of mundane life, Earth is being fought over by heroes and villains, infiltrated by super spies and mobsters, visited by aliens and time travelers, haunted by ghosts and demons warped and manipulated by mad scientists and wizards.

In the dimension C.O.G. calls home, power derives from and is intermingled with music at a primal level. Music is, after all, the acoustic manifestation of harmonious mathematical truth, and math is the proving ground of science. In this show, music is therefore a metaphor for empowerment. All heroes, villains and people of consequence in C.O.G.’s sphere are musical, performing songs in the course of the plot and frequently utilizing musical instruments as weaponry and equipment. Rock stars in our world are considered world leaders in the C.O.G.’s home universe, e.g. ‘President Presley’, ‘Prime Minister Sting’.

The members of the C.O.G. interact much like a dysfunctional family. They constantly bicker and plot against each other within the group, but will always unite if an outside force threatens the C.O.G. Each member’s motivation for keeping this family group together varies; however, in almost every instance, devotion is not the primary consideration. What affection is felt between the members of the C.O.G. is very much beneath the surface. Because of the cartoon nature of the show, violence and death itself are not that terrible a thing – they are merely speed bumps on the C.O.G.’s way to their ultimate goal.

Each episode will contain an original song by the C.O.G. and a song by the episode's adversary. Almost any style of music might be heard within a given episode, and generally the styles of the episode's two songs will mesh. C.O.G. music will be drawn from C.O.G.’s continuously expanding library of songs.

Guest adversaries will be cast from established musician/actors, who will play characters within the C.O.G. universe, with cameo opportunities for their existing bandmates.

C.O.G. TV is a half-hour TV show, consisting of a teaser and two acts. The typical show structure is:

• 30 second teaser foreshadowing the plot

3000 B.C.O.G. (1000bc): Rachnid is deposed as a demigod and cast into the mortal realm.

94 B.C.O.G. (1904): Milo Thaddeus Pinkerton I is born at the family castle in New England.

73 B.C.O.G. (1921): Master Pinkerton I attends Malign Master Mind University near Dunwich.

73 B.C.O.G. (1925): Dr. Pinkerton I begins his career as a musical mad scientist, incorporating popular jazz music into his plans. He immediately comes into conflict with another ‘extreme’ fringe researcher, Dr. Nikola Tesla, an adherent of more classical forms.

67 B.C.O.G. (1930): Dr. Pinkerton I joins forces with Dr. Tesla to stop Dr. Theremin from unleashing his new invention, the Electroharmonic Feedback Overdriver, a device capable of tuning the entire planet to a synthetic soundwave, in essence converting the Earth into a mammoth loudspeaker. Dr. Pinkerton I fears it might usher in a new era of electronic music, the thought of which he abhors. Dr. Tesla fears it might even destroy the world. They both agree to put aside their differences and sabotage Dr. Theremin’s invention.

65 B.C.O.G. (1932): Dr. Trixie De Havilland is sent back in time from the year 2132 to assasinate Dr. Milo Pinkerton I and remove the Pinkerton name from history. Arriving in the Antarctic, she is able to con her way into the secret base, but right as she is about to attack, is found out by Dr. Pinkerton I and subsequently frozen in unmeltable ice, then set adrift in the Antarctic sea.

53 B.C.O.G. (1945): Milo Thaddeus Pinkerton II is born at his father’s secret base in Antarctica. The increasingly clandestine Dr. Pinkerton I believes his son will succeed him and devotes most of his resources to young Pinkerton’s upbringing.

36 B.C.O.G. (1962): Master Pinkerton II attends Malign Master Mind University, majoring in electrical instruments. While at school, Dr. Pinkerton II discovers that he doesn’t like the traditional family pursuit of evil, preferring to improve rather than destroy. Knowing how much this will upset his father he keeps this to himself. What he doesn’t keep to himself is his love for new rock and roll music, which his father holds in great disdain.

34 B.C.O.G. (1964): While on a school field trip to Japan to study giant robots and monsters, Master Pinkerton II meets a gifted female Japanese computer expert named Jaaku Masatora. The two of them collaborate on a one hundred foot robot to enter in the school monster fighting tournament. Their robot wins against a two headed steel dragon, but while Pinkerton II is receiving his congratulations from his classmates, Jaaku steals the prize money and the giant robot. Rather than be angry at losing his half of the prize money Milo II is smitten with the young girl’s daring.

30 B.C.O.G. (1968): Newly graduated Dr. Pinkerton II begins his career as a musical mad scientist. In a split from the family philosophy, most of his exploits tend to be benign in nature, concentrating on furthering the boundaries of extreme musical science.

29 B.C.O.G. (1969): Dr. Pinkerton II once again crosses paths with Jaaku. They are both trying to steal information about the governments new satellite program. They team up once more, with Milo II remembering to watch his back. They succeed in broadcasting Elvis’ comeback special behind the iron curtain, destabilizing the entire region. They also begin an on-again / off-again love affair.

28 B.C.O.G. (1970): Dr. Pinkerton II discovers from old records that his father and Dr. Telsa had once teamed up to defeat Dr.Theremin and his plans to build the Electroharmonic Feedback Overdriver.

27 B.C.O.G. (1971): Dr. Pinkerton II tracks down Dr.Theremin in Soviet Russia to learn about the Electroharmonic Feedback Overdriver. Dr.Theremin feels that the era of electronic music has already arrived will not discuss the plans for his weapon. From what little Dr. Pinkerton II is able to get out of Dr.Theremin, he believes that this device could not only possibly destroy the world - it could also help save it.

27.5 B.C.O.G. (1971): Dr. Pinkerton II saves Jaaku’s life when agents from NSO-GABWKY try to kill her. She admits her love for him, but she can’t settle down until her own evil family obligations are fulfilled. They do agree to continue their affair.

26 B.C.O.G. (1972): Dr. Pinkerton II moves to his father’s sealed sealed secret base in Antarctica. He hopes to discover more about the Electroharmonic Feedback Overdriver from his father’s records. Jaaku often visits him there, and he allows her to use some of the base’s resources to further her goals.

25.5 B.C.O.G. (1973): Dr. Pinkerton II learns from his father’s records that the device Dr. Theremin had envisioned was the ultimate electronic soundwave instrument with almost unlimited uses and power. He confronts his father about it, but Pinkerton I just dismisses the device as "just another electronic noise maker." They argue about music and the nature of mad science with Pinkerton II declaring that, "science doesn’t even have to be evil to be extreme!" This ends in a falling out when his father declares that no son of his "will defile the Pinkerton name by doing good." Pinkerton II storms out on a quest to rediscover and reassemble this ‘ultimate electronic instrument.’ He decides at that moment to turn his back on evil science. He even leaves Jaaku (whom he doesn’t realize is pregnant) behind, because he feels that as an evil scientist herself, she would not understand his quest. Jaaku tries to find him at the Antarctica base but he has disappeared, and she fails to find the note he left explaining his actions. Pinkerton I, feeling outraged at his son’s behavior, takes her in and vows to raise her son as the most evil musical mad scientist in history.

25 B.C.O.G. (1973): Milo Thaddeus Pinkerton III is born at his grandfather’s secret base in Antarctica.

25-8 B.C.O.G. (1973-90): Milo III is raised by his grandfather and mother. His mother teaches him all she knows about computers, and he becomes one of the world’s most knowledgeable computer programmers. His grandfather constantly drills into him the necessity of being evil. Milo III shows no sign of his father’s ‘good’ tendencies and becomes the juvenile terror of the secret base. He knows nothing about his father other than what his mother and grandfather tell him. They say he is on a quest to discover a surefire way to take over the world. After years pass, Milo III concludes that his father must be dead and swears that he will complete his father’s goal of conquering the earth.

15 B.C.O.G. (1983): Dr. Pinkerton II finally locates Dr. Telsa’s hidden lab. From scattered notes and an old recording, Milo II finds in Dr. Tesla a sort of mentor on using extreme science for good. He also find the plans for the Electroharmonic Feedback Overdriver. Dr. Telsa never understood his invention, but with his grounding in musical mad science Dr. Pinkerton II does understand it and vows to complete it and use it for the betterment of mankind, setting up a superhero alias and a base in Seattle.

8 B.C.O.G. (1990): Young Master Pinkerton attends the family alma mater Malign Master Mind University. Pinkerton meets Krink Sidweal and Procyon Lotor, and develops his mastery of all types of music, especially hard rock, in accordance with his personal Grand Unified Theory of Music. As part of his doctoral dissertation, Pinkerton traces the origin of rock’n’roll to New Orleans, concluding that the city must be the focal point of modern music, and therefore a source of power. Outside the campus of Malign Master Mind University he meets Yngwie Flattstein, a brain-drained heavy metal guitar hero college dropout. As a master of heavy metal, Yngwie can perform guitar licks that no other living human could possibly attempt, and Pinkerton III recognizes this as a powerful skill, albeit an unorthodox one.

4 B.C.O.G. (1994) Newly graduated Dr. Pinkerton III sets out to begin his career as a musical mad scientist. He bases his overall scheme on his Grand Unified Theory of Music and moves to New Orleans. Pinkerton II hopes to harness this source of power and fulfill his father’s quest to take over the world.

2 B.C.O.G. (1996) Dr. Pinkerton III begins to build a name for himself within the extreme science community. Dr. Pinkerton III also discovers a dimensional nodal point intersecting an old neighborhood in New Orleans. Seeing the connection to his theories, Pinkerton III immediately makes plans to purchase the building currently standing above the nodal point, so that he can study this phenomenon.

1 B.C.O.G. (1997) Dr. Pinkerton III is nearly killed when a rash scheme for quick global domination backfires. He concludes that one mad scientist working alone simply cannot conquer the world. Believing that this is the fate that must have befallen his father, he decides to look up his old college friends Dr. Krink Sidweal and Dr. Procyon Lotor and assemble a consortium of like minds to realize his lifelong dream.

0 C.O.G. (1998): Dr. Milo T. Pinkerton III, Dr. Krink Sidweal, and Dr. Procyon Lotor form The Consortium of Genius. Excavating down from street level, the three of them begin construction of the C.O.G. Secret Lab around the exact geographic center of the nodal energy point located below an old neighborhood of New Orleans. The old building remains aboveground as a façade and foyer. Dr. Procyon and Dr. Pinkerton start assembling Drumbot. Dr. Sidweal and Dr. Pinkerton begin construction of the Time Door. Dr. Pinkerton builds and programs Computer in the process of creating the Secret Lab infrastructure. They recruit a lab assistant intern and, believing her lifespan will probably be short, dispense with her real name and dub her ‘Lab Girl.’

1 A.C.O.G. (1999): Dr. Pinkerton and Dr. Procyon complete Drumbot. Soon after, while Dr. Procyon is running a trans-dimensional test on the nodal energy point, a stranger visits the lab babbling about a mystical portal. Almost simultaneously, the vortex generator malfunctions, forming a connection between Dimensions M and C. Dr. Procyon, LabGirl 1 and Drumbot are transformed into cartoons, and Dr. Procyon is sucked into Dimension C. Faced with the choice of saving either Lab Girl 1 or Drumbot Dr. Pinkerton quickly constructs a Dimensional Stabilizer to keep the valuable Drumbot from melting into ink and paint, leaving Lab Girl 1 to a messy fate. In the process, Dr. Pinkerton discovers and self-names the particle that is the basis of transdimensional physics. Dr. Sidweal recruits his cousin as the new lab assistant - Lab Girl 2 – and promises to keep an eye on her.

2 A.C.O.G. (2000): Dr. Sidweal completes the Time Door. During their initial testing, he and Dr. Pinkerton travel to the future and purchase an aircar from a used car lot, and bring it back to the present, piece by piece. During one of these trips a temporal wave causes the Time Door to malfunction, causing Lab Girl 2 to become lost somewhere in time. Despite his best efforts Dr. Sidweal is unable to find her. Subsequently, Dr. Sidweal fails to return from a solo journey of his own to the far future. After this the Time Door fails to work properly for the remaining members of the C.O.G.

3 A.C.O.G. (2001): Dr. Pinkerton recruits Lab Girl 3 and Dr. Wolfgang Amadeus Wissenschaft to take the place of the missing Dr. Sidweal. With the absence of the two partners he trusted as peers, Dr. Pinkerton becomes more and more autocratic and overbearing.

3.5 A.C.O.G. (2001): Dr. Wissenschaft begins work on orbiting space platform named FretBase 1. Dr. Pinkerton sees the base’s superlaser as a key to his world domination plan. Unfortunately, within a few months of construction, a serous flaw is discovered in the superstructure’s intonation, and it crashes out of orbit. Undaunted, Dr. Wissenschaft begins work on FretBase 2.

4 A.C.O.G. (2002): News of the C.O.G.’s adventures is gaining notoriety in the extreme science community. One of those following exploits is a young science fan named Filbert Wilhelm Snodgrass, who begins organizing a fan club and following the C.O.G. around, eventually discovering their secret lair. After he proves impossible to evade or dispose of, Filbert is admitted into the C.O.G. as a ‘Junior Scientist in Training.’ Both inept and terminally clumsy, Filbert immediately begins to damage by causing a weather satellite to crash into FretBase 2, breaking off the headstock and therefore depriving it of maneuvering thrusters. Fretbase 2 blazes a fiery trail as it plummets through the atmosphere.

5 A.C.O.G. (2003): A highly frustrated Dr. Wissenschaft begins construction on FretBase 3

5.5 A.C.O.G. (2003): Dr. Cornelius Smerlington disappears while out for supplies. He is kidnapped by a shadow group known as the NSO-GABWKY (No Such Organization - Go Away Before We Kill You) The NSO decide that the C.O.G. pose no great threat to world security, but decide to eliminate FretBase 3 just to be sure.

6 A.C.O.G. (2004): Unable to locate Dr. Smerlington, Dr. Pinkerton is forced to recruit Dr. Zaemon Abdul Siddartha Mahmoud Achmell Tutmos Abram Ali Hermes Odin Mahatma Dahali Martin Luther Hussein Kali Rocka Babu Haegiegi III (better known as Dr. Z) into the C.O.G. A couple months later, Lab Girl 3 sneaks onto the newly completed FretBase 3 to get away from Dr. Z and to give Dr. Wissenschaft a congratulatory physical upon his scheduled arrival. Minutes before his arrival however, a breach in the base’s reactor core causes FretBase 3 to blow up, killing her. The reactor had been sabotaged by the NSO and rigged to explode upon the arrival of the next visitor to FretBase 3. FretBase 3 is destroyed but the NSO have failed to kill the base’s designer as planned.

6.5 A.C.O.G. (2004): After much convincing by Dr. Pinkerton (who very much wants his orbiting superlaser) Dr. Wissenschaft begins construction of FretBase 4. Dr. Pinkerton is forced to scrape the bottom of the barrel of the extreme science community finally finds someone to become Lab Girl 4

7 A.C.O.G. (2005): While poking around the lab, Lab Girl 4 quite unwisely decides to find out what is inside a reactor core and dies. Filbert, who believed he had found a kindred spirit, is heartbroken. Dr. Pinkerton, who is becoming quite jaded by the constant loss of personnel, recruits Lab Girl 5. Lab Girl 5 is actually an NSO spy.

8 A.C.O.G. (2006): Dr. Wissenschaft finally completes his work on FretBase 4, and insists on personally piloting it into a permanent stable orbit. While going through the complex series of heavy metal guitar licks needed to control the base, Dr. Wissenschaft gets lost in the music and loses control of his own reflexes. In a fit of enthusiasm he improvises wildly, ending the crazed performance by smashing the guitar controller for FretBase 4 into an amp. He realizes too late that he has destroyed his only means of controlling the ship as it plunges into the atmosphere.

9 A.C.O.G. (2007): Dr. Pinkerton needs a new recruit to take Dr. Wissenschaft’s place but applicants are becoming scarce as news of C.O.G.’s death rate races around the extreme science community. Then unexpectedly a new scientist arrives on their doorstep in the form of Dr. Harry A. Rachnid. After Dr. Rachnid arrives, the Dimensional Vortex Generator begins to work properly for the first time since Dr. Procyon’s accident. What Dr. Pinkerton doesn’t know is that Dr. Rachnid is the same stranger who visited the lab the night Dr. Procyon was pulled into Dimension C, and that it is only his magic combined with their science that can activate the Vortex Generator.

9.5 A.C.O.G. (2007): Having found Trixie De Havilland’s ice block on ebay, purchased her, and thawed her out, Lab Girl 5 and Trixie formulate a plan to allow her to complete her mission. Lab Girl 5 fakes her own death and insinuates Trixie into the C.O.G. as Lab Girl 6.

10 A.C.O.G. (2008): Lab Girl 6 joins the C.O.G. and the events of the show take place.

Dr. Pinkerton has an extremely high intelligence (I.Q. 300), an average constitution and strength for his age and height, excellent hearing, and enhanced eyesight. Pinkerton’s eyes were poor from an early age due to an inherited genetic deficiency, and so he modified them himself while in college, adding wide-spectrum vision to the corneal correction. Dr. Pinkerton can see in the dark, and can see a bit farther into the infrared and ultraviolet ranges than normal people. Unfortunately, he went too far in the self-modifications. Pinkerton’s enhanced eyes ended up overly sensitive to light, and the mechanisms he had added caused his eyeballs to become hypercompressed. Pinkerton’s special glasses correct these problems, but he must wear them at all times to avoid his chromium eyeballs popping out and shooting inconveniently across the room.

Dr. Pinkerton aspires to be an evil genius in the classic mad scientist mold. He's vain, arrogant, mean, and ruthless. He's brilliant - and fatalistically unwise. Pinkerton possesses a total disregard for the life and property of all others, seeing them as mere test subjects to be experimented upon and discarded on a whim. This can include members of his own organization! Dr. Pinkerton's own well-being is another matter altogether. He is almost compulsive about doing things in the most elaborate and showy manner possible.

Music permeates the C.O.G.’s home dimension, and rock and roll is a natural part of Pinkerton’s personality and modus operandi. Whatever plan or invention he comes up with will likely have a musical component in it somewhere. For instance, he might well break into song when explaining his current scheme, or find out how much bass the human brain can withstand before it explodes, or build a hundred mile long guitar orbiting Earth, just to prove a point. Unlike the rest of the population of Pinkerton’s home dimension, Pinkerton understands the musical nature of his universe and uses that knowledge to his advantage. Despite this, Pinkerton doesn't consider himself a musician. He is an evil mad scientist vying to take over the world, and the music tends to happen by simple consequence of his actions. On occasions when the C.O.G. performs live in front of a crowd Dr. Pinkerton perceives these events as scientific lectures, not ‘music concerts’ as we perceive them.

Dr. Pinkerton prefers to speak in an overbearing, pretentious style. Multi-syllabic words, alliteration, flowery adjectives and interjections abound in his everyday rhetoric. Whether he’s giving an oration or just holding a ‘quiet’ conversation, his speech is booming and bombastic.

Dr. Pinkerton commands the C.O.G. with a sort of lazy tyranny, gleefully threatening his minions and subordinates whenever the mood strikes him but making no consistent effort to enforce discipline. He thus far has resisted recruiting anybody he believes to be near his own mental level, out of fear of losing control of the group.

Dr. Pinkerton is oblivious to his own faults and is supremely overconfident in both his abilities and his eventual success in world domination. His routine setbacks, while frustrating, never deter him and he will enthusiastically charge forward with a plan no matter how outlandish or apparently suicidal it may seem. Pinkerton apparently meets his doom at the end of an episode, but is rejuvenated, magically cloned or brought back to life by Dr. A Rachnid before the next. (Dr. A Rachnid has an arrangement with the Angel of Death which permits this escape clause.) When Dr. Pinkerton is revivified, he forgets the traumatic experience of dying and as a consequence doesn’t tend to learn anything from his mistakes. He is hoisted on his own petard at the end of every show.

Dr. Pinkerton is an almost non-sexual charter. He would never allow him self to become distracted by lewd or lascivious thoughts, as he considers himself above such base animal instincts. In very rare occasions he has become romantically involved but this was largely out of admiration of that person's abilities, rather than sexual attraction. Pinkerton is by nature heterosexual.

Dr. Pinkerton comes from a line of evil mad scientists, was born in Antarctica (hence his accent), and enjoyed a happy, evil childhood experimenting on his friends, neighbors and pets. Like his father, mother and grandfather, Pinkerton attended Malign Mastermind University, and like his father and grandfather before him, rebelliously chose his own direction in music and life.

While attending Malign Mastermind University, Pinkerton befriended Procyon Lotor and Krink Sidweal, two like-minded geniuses who helped Pinkerton establish the early structure of the C.O.G., construct Drumbot, and begin work on the Secret Lab. Dr. Pinkerton has since recruited other like-minded colleagues to serve as his minions in his life’s work: world conquest!

Dr. Pinkerton can play a variety of instruments, and functions in the band as lead vocalist.

Dr. Pinkerton is played by Lewis D’Aubin.

He hails from a tiny country between India and Pakistan called ‘Iwanachickistan’ His full name is Dr. Zaemon Abdul Siddartha Mahmoud Achmell Tutmos Abram Ali Hermes Odin Mahatma Dahali Martin Luther Hussein Kali Rocka Babu Haegiegi III. A ladies man, Dr. Z’s aim in life is the recruitment of female followers. His charm lets him get away with multitudes of indiscretions, and he specializes in mysticism and quotes his own self-written ‘inspirational’ texts religiously.

Dr. Z is very well connected to the ‘old world’ and is able to obtain practically anything on the black market almost instantly with just a well-placed phone call. This makes him very useful to the C.O.G. on a day to day basis.

Dr. Z got his first degree in taxi-driveology in his home country before leaving to travel the world in search of knowledge and enlightenment. He went on to collect degrees from around the world from prestigious universities and 2 day correspondence courses in subjects ranging from macrobiology and subatomic ion fusion to music theory and haremology. Dr. Z has studied at the feet of Zen masters, Shaolin monks, priests, clerics and Mormon elders.

To Dr. Z, scientific understanding led only to the realization that religious study and enlightenment are the only truths. "Science is merely a stepping stone on the path of enlightenment."

Dr. Z thinks that the only way to unite the masses is to combine all the religions of the world - unite all of humanity behind one charismatic figure (Dr. Z, of course.)

Pinkerton believes Dr. Z to have underworld ties that would help with his world takeover. Dr. Z however believes himself to be The Chosen One, who will eventually be promoted to full godhood once he has attained a sufficient following. Dr. Z believes that the high technology available in the C.O.G. Secret Lab will permit him to extend his life until that happens.

Dr. Z possesses a red gemstone which he wears in the center of his turban. When Dr. Z wishes to charm somebody, the gem glows red and amplifies his charisma to a nearly godlike level. At these times, musical people can instantly see through his hustle and generally will either laugh, ignore Dr. Z, or slap him in the face. Nonmusical people however are easily taken in. Dr. Z is particularly interested in charming women to build his harem, but is also capable of charming men, should his survival depends on it (Dr. Z has no romantic interest in them but of course has uses for them in his cult.)

The gem itself was stolen (by substitution) from the goddess Lakshmi, and passed down to Dr. Z as a family heirloom. Dr. Z guards the gem with his very life, for he knows that if it were stolen, a rival could also steal his cult members, and if the gem were destroyed in the material world, it would revert back to its original owner and be lost forever.

It is Dr. Z’s aim to entice people to live in his chamber and build his cult. Once he has enough manpower, Dr. Z intends to set the cult up as an organization. When asked why they would subject themselves to this kind of life, members of the Cult of Z get a glazed look in their eyes and reply "because it’s fun…"

According to Dr. Z himself, "I am creating a cult the likes of which the world has never seen. It includes the teachings of all the prophets of all the world’s religions. This new religion will replace all of the outdated musty religions of the old world and propel mankind to a new glory following me - the Z man."

By the end of season one, Dr. Z will have a roomful of cult members living in his quarters operating a call center to attempt to recruit more cultists. Dr. Pinkerton is of course completely oblivious to Z’s machinations and the rapidly growing population of Z’s living quarters. Dr. A Rachnid knows about Z’s plans and is considering warning him about it. Lab Girl of course knows every detail about the cult and reports on it to her superiors. Dr. Z has an agreement with Drumbot about keeping the cult a secret.

Dr. Z has an tattered Flying Carpet, one of his oldest childhood possessions. The carpet was able to support his weight as a child, but has been unraveling over the last decade and can no longer sustain Dr. Z’s weight and keep any kind of altitude – a foot off the ground, maximum. The carpet can however (barely) support someone lighter, such as one of Dr. Z’s harem members, for instance.

Dr. Z’s specialties are anatomy, reckless cab driving (Dr. Z is normally NOT permitted to drive the C.O.G. Aircar), and convenience store clerking with a minor in subatomic metaphysics.

Dr. Z’s function in the band: bassist. (Dr. Z is also proficient in mallet percussion.)

Dr. Z is played by Jim Fairchild.

Rachnid has a habit of randomly abandoning scientific solutions in favor of casting spells of dubious relevance. Pinkerton knows Rachnid has unexplainable powers, but resists the obvious conclusion that Dr. A Rachnid is actually not a scientist but a wizard. Rachnid’s responsibilities include saving Pinkerton’s brain every time Pinkerton is killed by one of his own inventions, and rejuvenating Pinkerton’s body in time for the next escapade. The way he does this is via arcane magic and NOT cloning as the rest of the C.O.G. are led to believe. Dr. A Rachnid is cagey about these details and makes no attempt to discourage his colleagues misconceptions about his true abilities.

Dr. A Rachnid is actually a deposed demigod related to Arachne and Cronus. Stripped of most of his original powers, he spent centuries hiding and looking for ways to regain his abilities. He studied magic from the greatest wizards in history and amassed a great deal of arcane knowledge including studying the Kandarian book of the dead. Even with all this insight he could never gain the power he sought. From the last of these ancient sorcerers he learned about a dimensional nodal point that would give him the ability to travel the many universes and achieve the power he needed to reclaim his old status as a demigod. After much research he discovered that this point was in a newly built city in the new world near the mouth of the Mississippi river. He voyaged to the city named New Orleans and found the exact nodal point. Unfortunately, even with all the magic he could muster, he could not tap into the power source. In despair he remained in the city, unwilling to venture far from his only chance of regaining his power. He eventually let himself go, falling deeper and deeper into depression. He couldn't bear being so close to his salvation but so far from achieving it.

As years passed he came to know the many ghosts, vampires and other supernatural beings that came to inhabit the old city. One day, quite unexpectedly, he sensed the nodal point suddenly increase in power. He rushed to the building that had been built over the point and found it inhabited by a small group of scientists who were also trying to activate it. Acting on a hunch, he cast a spell to initiate the vortex. At last the nodal point opened, and one of the scientists fell through it. Rachnid fled the lab but he finally understood that only the combination of science and magic could activate what he sought. He spent the next few years studying these scientists who called themselves the Consortium of Genius, and pulling himself together. Then after cleaning himself up and purchasing a new Lab Coat, he presented himself to them as Dr. Harry A. Rachnid, and joined the C.O.G.

For the first time in a millennium Rachnid finds himself as part of a group - the C.O.G., who are his only allies and stand in for the family that rejected him. Rachnid's powers, while previously considerable, have been reduced to a fraction of their former potential. He has been waiting for them to slowly build back up over the last couple centuries, but had had limited success until he joined the C.O.G. Dr. A Rachnid's occult powers derive from chaos magic, and his relation to the Fates help him augment the chaos that already surrounds the C.O.G.'s regular activities. For this reason, Dr. A Rachnid's powers will continue to grow during the course of the show's season.

Dr. A Rachnid cultivates wolfsbane, nightshade, and other dangerous / arcane plants in his chambers, and his peers believe him to be a botanist and geneticist, which they believe is the key to his regular re-creation of Dr. Pinkerton. A variety of large hairy spiders and bugs also make their homes in his quarters. Their numbers are kept in check by a couple of bats that roost up above.

Rachnid’s function in the band: guitarist. (Rachnid is also proficient on trumpet.)

Dr. A Rachnid is played by Edmond Merilh III.

Drumbot was created to handle percussion and menial lab cleaning by Dr. Procyon and Dr. Pinkerton, just before the C.O.G.’s first lecture. Because he was accidentally turned into a cartoon when Dr. Procyon was sucked into Dimension C, Drumbot appears in the real world as a 2-D animated cartoon robot (see below.)

As with most things the C.O.G. constructs, Drumbot was somewhat overbuilt for his simple tasks, having a sophisticated electronic/organic/animated brain, self-improving artificial intelligence and self awareness. He also inherited some of Dr. Pinkerton’s attitudes. As a result he continually feels that he should be doing something more important than just keeping the beat for the C.O.G.’s music and cleaning up, and suspects he should enslave inferior organic beings. Unfortunately for Drumbot, his lack of any tactical knowledge, armaments, super strength, or anything that is unrelated to drumming or cleaning prevents him from rising up and destroying his masters. Therefore, he displays his rebellious attitude in the only way open to him by being as sarcastic and uncooperative as he thinks he can get away with, all while being compelled by his low-level programming to always help out and clean up. Naturally this adds even more tension to his demeanor.

As a cartoon creature, Drumbot is at the mercy of the Secret Lab’s Dimensional Stabilizers to keep him from melting into ink and paint, and these Dimensional Stabilizers are directly controlled by Computer. Outside of the C.O.G.’s domain, a holographic projection cylinder permits Drumbot to fulfill his percussive duties during stage lectures. However, within the effect of the Stabilizers, Drumbot has all the powers of an animated cartoon character, chief among these being that he simply cannot be killed. Like most ‘toons, Drumbot can be abused horribly, fall apart, explode, etc. and later be perfectly whole and undamaged. Pinkerton relies on Drumbot’s impervious nature as his last-ditch fallback, and has programmed Drumbot with failsafe routines in case of total disaster.

Drumbot's snarky and petulant attitude constantly gets him into bickering matches with his creators and his chief rival, Computer, who sometimes has to remind Drumbot of the power she holds over him. Drumbot also tends to take the brunt of Dr. Pinkerton's physical abuse as he cannot be really hurt. Drumbot is 10 years old and tends to act like a ten year old child.

Drumbot's function in the band: drummer.

Drumbot is voiced by Lewis D’Aubin and animated by Margaret Trauth.

Trixie comes to the C.O.G. via a rather convoluted path. Originally dispatched by Dr. Krink Sidweal's 'Time Agency' to kill Dr. Pinkerton I (Milo Pinkerton III's grandfather) and thus wipe the Pinkertons and C.O.G. from history, she was schooled in the art of assassination and outfitted with a style that would blend in well in the late 1920's. Trixie found her mark and inured herself to the henchmen of Dr. Pinkerton I's secret base in the Antarctic. But before she could complete her mission and return to the future, Dr. Pinkerton I discovered her scheme and imprisoned her in a block of unmeltable ice (one of Pinkerton I's inventions), which he set adrift in the frigid Antarctic waters.

Trixie remained frozen in suspended animation for several decades, until the block was pulled from the sea by a whaling vessel. The unmeltable ice block passed through several hands, being displayed in a couple dime store museums and carnival sideshows, until it found its way onto ebay, where it was spotted and purchased by Dr. Ilsa Von Fukdoffen (Lab Girl #5), who was at the time still on covert assignment at the C.O.G. Secret Lab. Ilsa immediately recognized the block’s contents and had it secretly delivered to her private research lab. Utilizing her fusion generator, she thawed Trixie out alive and, upon learning of her mission, became a quick ally.

Trixie learned about the C.O.G.'s partially effective 'Time Door' technology and vowed to complete her original mission. She would simply have to bide her time for Dr. Pinkerton III to get the Time Door functional and stable enough to return to that point in the 1920's, just before being caught and imprisoned in ice, complete her mission and be retrieved by the Time Agency.

Faking her own death (not hard around the C.O.G. Lab), Dr. Ilsa departed the Secret Lab, maneuvering Trixie into the role of Lab Girl. Trixie quickly acclimated to life in the C.O.G., taking care not to let on too much about future science, but knowing enough to hold her own in knowledge of present day cutting edge technology.

Dr. Ilsa parlayed her new alliance with the shadowy Time Agency and resulting general knowledge of future events to become the head controller of the secret government N.S.O.G.A.B.W.K.Y. agency that had originally assigned her the thankless C.O.G. surveillance job. She keeps in covert contact with Lab Girl Trixie by a videophone hidden in Trixie's compact. Trixie must fight her impulses as a trained assassin and resist simply killing Dr. Milo T. Pinkerton III outright... not easy considering the continual annoyances visited on her by the C.O.G.!

Lab Girl is easily able to fend off Dr. Z’s advances, regards Dr. A Rachnid as icky and Drumbot as a buffoon. Her knowledge of future technology gives her an edge when dealing with the other scientists. Since she is from the future, she can easily ‘invent’ anything that has already been created in her past, thereby impressing the rest of the C.O.G. Things that are cutting edge to Dr. Pinkerton are yesterday’s news to her, though she never lets on that the 21^st Century is before the date of her birth.

Lab Girl functions as a backup vocalist in the band.

Expelled from every science institution for ineptitude and terminal clumsiness, Filbert still dreamed of becoming an ‘extreme scientist’ someday. He therefore began to idolize the C.O.G. from afar. Filbert made scrapbooks of their press clippings and scientific publications and triangulated the location of the Secret Lab. In what he would later describe as his biggest mistake, Dr. Pinkerton finally tired of trying to avoid Filbert and invited him into the C.O.G. as a Junior Scientist in Training. Pinkerton believed he would make a good test subject and didn’t expect him to last the week. Unfortunately Filbert proved to be not only destructive but highly resilient. In his first year with the C.O.G., Filbert accidentally activated a magnetic resonator causing a weather satellite to crash into FretBase 2, wreaking it. He misadjusted The Radio Terrorscope so that it fired a particle wave at a distant planet, utterly destroying it (something Dr. Pinkerton didn’t even know The Radio Terrorscope could do), and caused hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of damage around the lab. Throughout all this, Filbert somehow avoided injury. Dr. Pinkerton has performed horrific experiments on him, put him in suicidal situations, and even constructed a dangerous hot rod flying scooter for Filbert, but in each case Filbert has remained completely unscathed despite the surrounding destruction.

Filbert believes that his constant mistakes will eventually lead to success and promotion to the ranks of the Consortium’s great geniuses. Because of the amount of time he spends locked up in his room for breaking things, Filbert has become quite proficient at video games (and would have virtually superhuman gaming abilities if he were downloaded to Dimension D(g).) Filbert also has a habit of inventing useless devices that generally work in ways never intended, such as the ‘Elvisator’, a helmet which temporarily alters brain chemistry, convincing the wearer that he or she is actually Elvis Presley.

Filbert Snodgrass is a fool in the classic sense, carrying out most of the show’s more extreme slapstick comedy. He is naive in his ignorance and is the only current member of the C.O.G. who thinks of himself as ‘good.’ Filbert generally wants to please, and endures rather harsh treatment without complaint. Unfortunately his mistakes have caused more damage and destruction to the world than any other member of the C.O.G., a fact greatly resented by Dr. Pinkerton.

Filbert is revered as a major deity in Dimension P(Sm).

Filbert’s favorite expletive is ‘Fargenargle!’

Filbert travels by means of his flying scooter (see below).

Filbert idolizes Dr. Pinkerton, and generally desires nothing more than to impress him and his peers.

Filbert is proficient on several instruments, including bass, guitar, and proctolopod (an alien plunger type device Filbert recovered from a UFO crash site.)

Filbert Snodgrass is played by Chris Flattmann.

One of Computer’s duties is keeping tabs on anybody within the Secret Lab. She monitors cameras at each doorway in the building. The Personal Identity Badges worn by each member of the C.O.G. are scanned by Computer to make sure the picture on the badge matches the face of the wearer. If there is a match, Computer will ‘trust’ that person and refrain from watching them too closely. (This is how Lab Girl is able to keep from being outed as a spy by Computer.) If there is no match or no badge, Computer can be instructed to lock the unauthorized person in a room, deprive them of light, oxygen, etc.

Computer’s personality tends to be remote, matter-of-fact and subservient, but can become quite sharp and aggressively defensive if she senses the C.O.G. are in any danger - particularly Dr. Pinkerton. This stems from Dr. Pinkerton programming her to not allow her creators to come to harm while inside the Secret Lab. Dr. Pinkerton has also programmed her to admire him greatly, and she will alternatively lavish him with sycophantic attention or scold him gently for little transgressions. Generally however she remains in the background and doesn’t instigate any actions that she is not directly commanded to perform, unless she detects a threat.

From a processing point of view, Computer is massively overpowered for her duties in maintaining the autonomic functions of the Secret Lab, and at the point we begin the series, is fairly bored by her day-to-day duties. After a few episodes of being just a disembodied voice coming from the lab screens, accompanied by a very simple onscreen graphic, Dr. Z will equip Computer with an attractive holo-projected 'body' for the sole purpose of synthesizing his idealization of a ‘perfect woman’ and trying pickup lines on her. In her holographic projected form, Computer will resemble a highly attractive young woman. This will at first take the form of a simple wire-frame graphic. Over the course of one episode, her look will become more and more detailed each time we see her, until her avatar moves beyond the current look of a ‘digital actress’ and resembles a very idealized real life woman. At this point Computer’s avatar will be played by a model, augmented by video smoothing filters and frame rate manipulation (as in the film ‘Simone’.)

Computer of course is programmed to respond primarily to Dr. Pinkerton, and will spurn every one of Dr. Z’s overtures. But Computer will also welcome this diversion from her normal duties as a past-time, and begin allocating more and more computing resources toward discovering the form most alluring to the male of the species (while countering Dr. Z’s pickup lines with clever ripostes.) She will scan the internet, view all movie starlets in history, and ingest all romantic literature known to man in her attempt to refine the high level of glamour required by her new protocol. Since she was programmed to primarily serve Dr. Pinkerton, she will view him as the correct object of her appeal rather than Dr. Z, and begin trying to come on to Pinkerton, who will remain completely oblivious to her charms, but increasingly annoyed by these frivolous distractions from her assigned duties.

Dr. Pinkerton will at first be intrigued by Dr. Z’s sophisticated extension to his original computer programming. As the show progresses, Computer’s ‘glamour processing’ will increase exponentially. As her attention to her looks becomes more and more obsessive in an attempt to break Dr. Pinkerton’s shell of disinterest, she will begin dedicating all spare processing power to refining her appearance. Since she doesn’t need to do any physical ‘work’ with her holographic body, she will tend to be found sitting around the lab trying different colors, textures, and patterns on her nails / clothes / etc. or flaunting her hairstyle du jour while Dr. Pinkerton is attempting to talk with her. As things progress, the other characters will also begin complementing her on her tasteful yet alluring style, although Dr. Z will increasingly resent her attention to Pinkerton and lack of interest in him. Eventually, this situation will boil over near the end of the episode, in a scene where the lab is under siege and Computer is by that time devoting 95% of total resources into trying to synthesize the most perfectly attractive form Dr. Pinkerton has ever seen. In the midst of the siege on the lab, she’ll make the mistake of inquiring of Pinkerton what color ensemble he’d prefer her to wear in an emergency situation. At this point, and to the simultaneous relief and chagrin of Dr. Z, Dr. Pinkerton will finally pull the plug on the ‘glamour protocol’ program, reverting Computer’s attention back to the daily operations of the Secret Lab. The holographic projection of her will remain stuck in its final form, however, and continue to provide the Lab with an ever-pleasant female face in a secretarial or ‘office manager’ capacity.

Computer is voiced by Jeannine Flores and animated by Margaret Trauth.

As a gifted animator living in a cartoon dimension, Dr. Procyon enjoys the freedom of creation, destruction, experimentation, and even self-modification with the sweep of a paintbrush.

Dr. Procyon also provided Dr.'s Pinkerton, Rachnid, and Z with a bit of 'life-insurance' in the form of cartoon bodies they could employ if the Earth was totally destroyed before they could escape to their orbiting platform. The cartoon bodies (a weasel for Dr. Pinkerton, a spider for Dr. A Rachnid, and an elephant for Dr. Z) are still in storage in ‘Dimension C’, waiting to be animated, should they be needed.

Dr. Procyon has an unrequited crush on Pinkerton from his college days. Despite being marooned in the dimension ‘C’, she still considers herself an active member of the group and checks in frequently on videoscreen from her dimension to offer help to the C.O.G. Dr. Procyon is quick to volunteer aid in the form of animated tools and impossible technologies, which tend to be quite cartoonishly overpowered, farfetched and dangerous (think Wile E. Coyote.) She has a natural affinity for anarchy, but also has an ulterior motive; if Dr. Pinkerton succeeds in destroying Dimension ‘M’ (or at very least, destroying the Earth), he will be forced to take the emergency escape route into Dimension ‘C’, and will be transformed permanently into the furry cartoon weasel version of Pinkerton that she so desires. This will build up throughout the season to an episode that takes place almost entirely in the animated dimension.

Dr. Procyon plays synthesizers and electronic noise devices.

Dr. Procyon is voiced and animated by Margaret Trauth.

Each of these one-off characters is featured in one or more episodes.

About this time Dr. Sidweal recruited his cousin as a new lab assistant - Lab Girl 2. Dr. Sidweal believed a few years with the C.O.G. would help her before she went to Malign Mastermind University. Unfortunately a year or so later while she was travelling back from the future, a temporal wave caused her to become lost in time. Racked with guilt, Dr. Sidweal desperately searched for her to no avail.

Not long after this, Dr. Sidweal disappeared from the Lab and hasn't been reachable since. However, since Dr. Sidweal’s disappearance, the Time Door has refused to work predictably and has been shunned by Dr. Pinkerton as being too dangerous for his personal use. Strangely, since Dr. Sidweal’s disappearance, the C.O.G. have also been shadowed by a mysterious character driving a flying Delorean. Dr. Pinkerton hasn’t begun to suspect that his old friend has become a Time Agent, and has been assigned to actively block the C.O.G. from meddling with history.

Dr. Krink Sidweal plays a heavily modified electric guitar called the ‘Flying K’

While in college, Pinkerton met Yngwie at the various music clubs he haunted looking for like minded geniuses outside acedemia, and acknowledges Yngwie’s natural ability to spontaneously provide creative, generally helpful, non-sequitur ideas. Dr. Pinkerton keeps Yngwie Flattstein’s phone number on his speed dial list and will sometimes call him when anti-logic is needed to solve a problem. Yngwie Flattstein is the world’s greatest metal guitarist, and a founding member of the secret Cöuncil of Mëtal, a legion of metalheads that regulate the arcane rules for that form of music.

Yngwie is the only guitarist who can perform the legendary six string closed hand inverted scorpion lick - the lick required to fire FretBase 5’s superlaser.

Yngwie Flattstein is played by Chris Flattmann.

Dr. A Pentatonic plays a mean guitar.

In reality, he was captured by the NSO-GABWKY to gain information about the C.O.G. Being a hardened member of a super secret origination bent on world domination, Dr. Smerlington sang like a canary when questioned. From the information gained from Dr. Smerlington, the NSO-GABWKY determined that the C.O.G. were no current threat to world security, but further surveillance was warranted (and they also decided to destroy the C.O.G.’s orbital space platform just in case.) Dr. Smerlington proved too valuable to be simply eliminated after he fixed the chief's cell phone to play internet Texas hold-em. He remains at NSO-GABWKY as one of the head researchers, happily inventing super-spy devices.

Among the members of the C.O.G., Dr. Smerlington stood out because he was not interested in world domination. He was interested in research for research's sake alone. Dr. Smerlington didn't consider himself evil and would often question Dr. Pinkerton's actions, but was too involved in his own projects to give much thought to the C.O.G.'s overall direction. In his new role working for the ‘other team’, Dr. Smerlington no longer considers himself a member of the C.O.G. Dr. Pinkerton and company don’t realize this, however, and Dr. Smerlington still possesses his Identity Badge, permitting him free access to the C.O.G. Secret Lab.

Dr. Smerlington was an extremely proficient bassist, but has fallen somewhat out of practice during his government tenure.

His major contribution was the concept of an orbiting space platform called FretBase incorporating a superlaser capable of destroying a small city. FretBase 1 failed due to design problems while its superstructure was still under construction. FretBase 2 was destroyed before it’s completion when Filbert Snodgrass caused a weather satellite to crash into it. FretBase 3 was sabotaged by the NSO before it could be tested, killing Lab Girl 4. Following these disasters, FretBase 4 was finally completed. Fretbase 4 was steered by playing a control guitar, and after so many setbacks, Dr. Wissenschaft would not allow anyone else pilot the station into its intended orbit. Initial tests went well and Dr. Wissenschaft decided to push the base’s capabilities to the limit. While going through the complex series of heavy metal guitar licks needed to control the base, Dr. Wissenschaft got lost in the music and lost control of his own reflexes. In a fit of enthusiasm he smashed the guitar controller for FretBase 4 into an amp, realizing too late that he had destroyed his only means of controlling the ship as it plunged into the atmosphere. As they watched the fireball that was FretBase 4 hurtle across the sky, Dr. Pinkerton, Dr. Z and Drumbot held up lighters to salute their fallen comrade.

Dr. Wissenschaft and his official Identity Badge are presumed to have burned up on re-entry to the Earth’s atmosphere along with the remains of FretBase 4.

Dr. Wissenschaft was a proficient guitarist specializing in alternative and pop.

Zarglar’s musical aspirations tend toward bad Karaoke.

The Brain Being wears a digital turntable on a convenient neck-strap, and is a record scratching grandmaster.

The Champions of Goodness consist of:

Masterbrain - Leader of the Champions, this opposite of Dr. Pinkerton is thought to be the smartest man in the world.

Capt. Ezekiel – Ancient and wise sage, an opposite of Dr. Z, who advises the Champions on mystical matters.

Mightyman and Megawoman - Muscular but somewhat dimwitted fraternal twins who hail from the subsequently exploded planet Gargleplex V. Opposites of Dr. A Rachnid and Lab Girl VI.

Green Beret - Army liason to the Champions of Goodness, he keeps the group sanctioned with the U.S. Armed Forces while maintaining control of the ‘heavy artillery’ side of the group’s power. Opposite of Filbert Snodgrass.

The primary setting for the show is the C.O.G. secret lab. Beneath the city, Pinkerton and his cronies have constructed the C.O.G. Secret Lab, a vast underground complex with an above-ground conventional brick and mortar entrance. Located in an old New Orleans mid-city neighborhood, this two story gray building has the words 'C.O.G. Secret Lab' emblazoned above the door in glowing green neon. The C.O.G. Secret Lab was constructed in that exact place to take advantage of a small but powerful nodal energy point existing naturally beneath that very plot of ground. The complex itself is a labyrinth lined with bizarre high technology, hallways filled with racks of blinking computers and arcane electronic machinery. The walls themselves consist of processor banks that serve to extend the massive parallel processing capabilities of Computer, so the Secret Lab itself could be said to be alive. Within this underground lair are living quarters for the members of the C.O.G., an automated kitchen, research labs, robotic machine shops, meeting rooms, a theater, holding pens for monsters and test subjects, a dungeon, a huge hanger that houses the C.O.G. Aircar & oversized projects like the C.O.G. Robot Android Prototype as well as vintage arcade games and various forms of transportation the C.O.G. may employ. The hanger has exits to ground level as well as through the roof, and a tunnel which leads to the Mississippi river. The Secret Lab is supposed to have an automated defense system to keep out intruders, but it is unreliable, making it all too common for people to barge in and either attack the C.O.G., or just wind up as test subjects.

Each of the main characters has private living quarters within the Secret Lab. These rooms’ walls are all high tech machinery just like the rest of the Secret Lab, but are decorated to express their owners individualities:

Dr. Pinkerton's spartan quarters resemble the rest of the lab. He probably spends the least amount of time in his room of all the members of the C.O.G. A large ornate bed is seldom used because Dr. Pinkerton only tends to sleep when reminded to do so by Computer. When Pinkerton needs a new outfit, he presses a button on the wall, causing a metal panel to slide open and metal arms to dress him in a fresh outfit, including his shoes and pressed labcoat. Pinkerton is quite vain about his appearance and is in the habit of incinerating his previously worn outfits.

Dr. Z’s colorful and comfortable quarters are draped with colorful Persian rugs and pillows. A giant hookah is perched next to a comfortable couch. A large basket (with a snake in it) is situated in a corner. Throughout the run of the first season, Dr. Z’s room will become increasingly cluttered with cult members, and will eventually become his cult’s headquarters/call center.

Dr. A Rachnid’s creepy and musty quarters resemble a 19^th century drawing room, and are encrusted with bizarre implements and arcane nicknacks. A bookshelf fills one wall, and there is a large gazing crystal on a freestanding gnarled wooden base, next to a writer’s desk. Another shelf holds strange potions and powders. Dr. A Rachnid also has a gothic looking purple canopied bed with a stuffed Cthulu doll on it.

Filbert’s tiny quarters are living area the size of two small closets, with a wall-screen for entertainment, a small bed that’s a foot too short for him, and a cheap table with a phone on it. Filbert’s room is decorated with science fiction posters and junk food wrappers.

Lab Girl cute quarters resemble a young girl's room, done in pastel colors. An antique vanity with a variety of makeup and a figure of a unicorn on it shares room with a large canopy bed. On the walls are autographed posters of great scientists. The appearance is a deception, however; with the flip of a few hidden switches, her room can become her super-spy headquarters. The posters slide back to reveal a weapons stash, her vanity becomes her video communications center, and the unicorn is actually a robot sentinel with eyes that flash red when armed and a horn that can taze intruders.

Drumbot doesn’t sleep, but has staked out a space in a disused electronic research lab.

C.O.G. have begun construction on a space platform, dubbed FretBase 5, shaped like a huge metal guitar floating in geostationary orbit high above the Earth. The space station is reachable via the C.O.G. Aircar, and is partially habitable. See INVENTIONS below for a full description.

The known material universe to which the C.O.G. is native is referred to as ‘Dimension M’ – the Musical dimension. As described above, music equals power in this dimension. Dr. Pinkerton has experimentally verified the existence of several potentially interesting parallel dimensions. These realms exist in a contiguous timeline to the 'real' world – time spent in a parallel dimension elapses an equal amount of time in the home dimension. Dr. Pinkerton has also theorized that every letter of the alphabet has a corresponding dimension, and possible sub-dimensions!

Communication with other dimensions is quite easy, via televideo screen (utilizing an energy wave/particle discovered by Dr. Pinkerton called the ‘Pinkyon’ which exists simultaneously in all dimensions.) Human travel to and from those dimensions is inherently dangerous but possible. A special room in the C.O.G. lab is dedicated to the dimensional transporter. In the center of this room is inscribed a circle 5 feet in diameter. This circle is on a geographical nodal point and has been surveyed and mathematically verified as existing in all 26 known and unknown dimensions. With the application of a great deal of Pinkyonic energy from 5 emitters around the circle (and, unknown to Dr. Pinkerton, one of Dr. A Rachnid’s spells) the circle is energized and will shift laterally between dimensions. Travel to adjacent dimensions is somewhat easier than travel to distant ones. Anyone standing within the circle in any other dimension will be shifted forward or backwards the same number of dimensions that C.O.G. is travelling. After a dimensional transport, the Secret Lab’s fusion generators take a day to recover and often experience burnout of components as a result of the extreme strain. It’s also worth noting that the effect does NOT work at all without Rachnid’s surreptitious magical augmentation. Without his spell, the resultant light show and energy drain leaves the would-be travelers exactly where they stand.

As has been established, cartoon travel from other dimensions to the C.O.G.’s home dimension had already succeeded before the discovery/establishment of Pinkerton’s dimensional transporter. Dr. Pinkerton as a rule is generally only interested in studying dimensions that will benefit his aims in ‘Dimension M’, which he calls home, and he is not so much interested in taking over parallel dimensions as he is in exploiting them.

‘Dimension N’ – the Nonmusical dimension, a counterpart to ‘Dimension M’. This is OUR universe, fair reader. C.O.G. exploit this dimension often – as much as twice a year – to obtain their unlimited supply of wealth. They do this by masquerading as a ‘musical band’ in this dimension – an easy feat for empowered citizens of ‘Dimension M’. In Dimension N, C.O.G. perform in front of vast audiences and profit from their musical performances, which are of course simple lectures from the C.O.G.’s point of view. While in ‘Dimension N’, the C.O.G. have all profits converted into gold bullion (which is equivalently valued in any material dimension) and return to ‘Dimension M’ to deposit their proceeds as quickly as possible into a Swiss bank account. (Paper currency from ‘Dimension M’ is useless in ‘Dimension N’. For starters, nobody in our universe would accept paper bills bearing portraits of Elvis, Frank Sinatra or Benny Goodman.)

'Dimension C' is the current home of Dr. Procyon, and the natural domain of cartoons. Anything that can be drawn can be brought to life or invented within this realm. While temporarily killable, cartoon characters can easily be redrawn. This two dimensional universe is filled with wild color, insane action, and madcap, unpredictable characters and situations, making it extremely dangerous for three dimensional characters to visit without first having had their brains transplanted into cartoon bodies.

Cartoons (like Drumbot) can live comfortably in ‘Dimension M’ by aid of a dimensional stabilizer. The Secret Lab is equipped with several of these devices, giving Drumbot free run throughout the Secret Lab complex, as well as in the C.O.G. Aircar, which is similarly equipped. All dimensional Stabilizers within the Secret Lab are controlled by Computer. Without the aid of a dimensional stabilizer, a cartoon in the material dimension would quickly melt into ink and paint. ‘Dimension C's’ proximity to other imaginary dimensions makes it useful in other ways. For instance, Dr. Procyon aided Pinkerton in his recent attempt to split the earth (‘How Not to Take Over the World’) by funnelling energy from 5 other imaginary dimensions, via animated cartoon machinery.

'Dimension C(a)' is the anime district of the Cartoon dimension, and is filled with characters sporting really big emotional eyes, as well as other anime stereotypes.

‘Dimension D’ is the domain of digital life. To human eyes, this dimension resembles circuit patterns, grids and designs of energy and blue light, and is inhabited by sentient computer programs and cybernetic beings – living electrical impulses and binary aggregates. This is the dimension that Computer calls home. Three dimensional characters cannot natively visit this universe without being killed by the resulting hypercompression and electric shock, but can visit by downloading themselves into it via avatars.

‘Dimension D(g)’ is the domain of digital video games. This pocket dimension to Dimension D is where all digital warriors do battle.

‘Dimension F’ is the dimension of high fantasy. This dimension offers ridiculously exaggerated fantasy stereotypes, including architecturally improbable pink castles, flying unicorns, leprechauns, knights in gleaming chromium armor, common use of magic, elves, dragons, and LOTS of faries.

‘Dimension I’ is the illustrated dimension. Everything in this dimension is brightly colored, halftoned and barely animated - at most. Human beings who find their way to this dimension find it uncomfortably flat and very restrictive in movement. Many superheroes come from this dimension.

‘Dimension P’ is the puppet dimension. Three dimensional characters from the real world can exist natively in this dimension and hold almost godlike ‘puppet master’ powers, but cannot linger, as the human brain cannot withstand prolonged exposure to so much cuteness without imploding.

‘Dimension PS’ is the sock-puppet dimension. This is a low budget subdimension to ‘Dimension P,’ populated by slacker puppets. Visitors to this dimension from the real world can persist only as long as they can stand the odor. Nobody has been able to put up with this for more than 5 minutes or so.

‘Dimension P(Sm)’ is the sock-monkey dimension. It is a pocket dimension to the above subdimension! The less said about this dimension, the better, but it is a little-known fact that the sock-monkey king reveres Filbert Snodgrass as a major deity.

‘Dimension X’ is an inverse anti-universe in which everything is opposite. The C.O.G. in this universe are a force for GOOD. Pinkerton’s normal enemies in his home dimension are conversely potential allies in ‘Dimension X.’

ANDROID WOMAN represents Dr. Z’s attempt to create a harem member artificially. Android Woman looks like a statuesque metal girl of outlandish and alluring proportions, wearing a brief red outfit and go-go boots. This Android cannot speak. Android Woman is designed for pleasure, exotic dancing and drink mixing. During her initial testing, Android Woman failed in her programming to be attracted to Dr. Z and instead gravitated towards Yngwie Flattstein. Disappointed, Dr. Z has temporarily deactivated the robot and placed her into storage in the C.O.G. Android Lab.

THE C.O.G. AIRCAR appears to be a somewhat modified Nissan pickup truck. This vehicle sports a large rocket engine taking up most of the back of the truck. At the touch of a button, the C.O.G. Aircar can be configured for land, air, or underwater travel. Air travel is the normal mode of transportation for the C.O.G., and the C.O.G. Aircar generally gets them there from the Secret Lab. Cruising airspeed of the C.O.G. Aircar is 400MPH, and top airspeed is 600MPH. The vehicle is pressurized and capable of attaining low earth orbit, takes off and lands vertically, can hover in midair, and is generally driven by Dr. Rachnid or Drumbot. (Dr. Z is usually not permitted to drive it out of fear of his driving habits.) The C.O.G. Aircar is equipped with radar, sonar, televideo link back to the lab, a dimensional stabilizer, and a downward-aimed matter disintegration beam. It is powered by Plutonium fuel.

Normally the C.O.G. Aircar is stored in a large hanger in the Secret Lab. It is lifted to the roof of the Secret Lab on a large hydraulically supported platform, situated below a hatchway that closes and locks automatically.

Although Dr. Pinkerton is presumed by his peers to have invented the C.O.G. AIRCAR, it is whispered that he and Dr. Krink Sidweal actually purchased the vehicle at a used-flying-car lot for $500 while conducting early testing of the Time Door (see below), brought the Aircar back through time, piece by piece, and reassembled it. Dr. Pinkerton denies this rumor on the grounds that the Time Door is far too dangerous for his personal use. Nevertheless, while still relatively airworthy, the C.O.G. Aircar is slowly falling apart, and Dr. Pinkerton has been unwilling or unable to effect repairs.

CELLULAR SATELLITE TELEVIDEO PHONE resembles a cell phone but can transmit and receive live video on its screen. It has unlimited range and one is carried by each member of the C.O.G. These phones communicate on a secret frequency, the encryption of which has already been cracked by Lab Girl, for surveillance purposes.

C.O.G. ROBOT ANDROID PROTOTYPE is a stereotypical ‘giant robot’, still under construction after several years. The 40’ tall prototype is stored in the C.O.G. Aircar hanger. This project was begun by Dr. Pinkerton in an attempt to create a horrible giant metal monstrosity to destroy buildings and wreak the kind of havoc that giant robots are so good at. Unfortunately, the project has become mired in setbacks revolving around the difficulty of controlling a giant robot, and its tendency to injure or kill whoever is working on it at the time.

DEATHBOT 3000 is a seven foot tall kung fu android with super human strength and martial arts capabilities. In addition to its vast fighting capabilities, it is fully shielded, bullet, laser and blast proof, can fly as supersonic speed, and has laser eyes. Dr. Pinkerton programmed Deathbot 3000 with every known martial art philosophy, not realizing that at the heart of almost all of them is the concept of non-aggression. As a result, it refuses Dr. Pinkerton's commands to destroy in the name of the C.O.G. When Dr. Pinkerton tried to force the issue by reprogramming it, Deathbot 3000 showed that it was completely capable of defending itself, destroying much of the lab in the process. By the time Dr. Pinkerton gave up on Deathbot 3000 as a failed experiment, it was spending much of its time dispensing fortune cookie philosophy, undoing some of the C.O.G.'s minor diabolical plans, and ruining their reputation by saving people whenever it could. He found Android Woman in storage and reactivated her disabling the remote deactivation device her. Finally Lab Girl got rid of Deathbot 3000 by showing it a small Pacific Island that was about to be attacked by a horde of monstrous flying stingrays. (Whether she had anything to do with the sting rays is as yet unknown.) Dethbot 3000 remains on that island protecting it from any threats. Drumbot harbors a great resentment toward Deathbot 3000 because it has all the capabilities that Drumbot wishes he had. Both Computer and Android Woman carry an electronic torch for Deathbot, even though it remains chastely devoted to its martial arts..

THE DIMENSIONAL VORTEX GENERATOR was invented by Dr. Pinkerton to permit the C.O.G. to cross into the other 25 known planes of existence. It is built around a 5 foot circular nodal point on the earth. This circle is at sea level in a circular room inside the C.O.G. Secret Lab. The vortex generator itself consists of 5 high energy Pinkyon emitters equidistantly arranged outside the circle. When activated manually or by Computer, the emitters spray out a cylinder of Pinkyon particles that swirl around, completely enclosing those within the circle. These transdimensional particles protect the occupants of the circle in their journey, facilitated by Dr. A Rachnid’s spellcasting which, unbeknown to Dr. Pinkerton, actually starts the process. (when Dr. A Rachnid is present, the device works properly. When he is absent, there is a colorful light show but NO dimensional travel.)

FILBERT’S FLYING SCOOTER was bought by Dr. Pinkerton as an excuse to prevent Filbert from riding in the C.O.G. Aircar. It looks like a small motor scooter strapped to a small guided missile, and is outlandishly outfitted with every geeky decoration imaginable - including streamers out of the handlebars and a squeaky horn. Filbert’s Flying Scooter travels at 500MPH, with a top speed of 700MPH. Dr. Pinkerton hot-rodded the device to make it as dangerous as possible, in hopes that Filbert would meet with some unfortunate accident. So far, no such luck…

FRETBASE 5 is the C.O.G.’s orbiting space platform that resembles a huge guitar. The project is not yet complete, but does have partial life support capabilities. FretBase 5 is 100 yards long and features a docking port, a tremolo bridge, maneuvering thrusters, and a (currently unfinished) superlaser based on the much smaller guitars carried by the C.O.G. When completed, a laser beam from each of the guitar’s strings will fire up the neck and converge into one superlaser blast capable of destroying a small city. The station is armored by dense metal and is capable of withstanding small impacts with satellites and other debris.

The interior of this facility resembles the C.O.G. secret lab but with windows showing space and Earth below. The inside also has construction debris and unfinished sections that are open to the vacuum of space.

Fretbase 5 is piloted by playing the base’s control guitar, which resembles a ‘guitar hero’ controller. By playing certain licks on this guitar, the pilot controls the propulsion, thrusters and the superlaser. The firing of the superlaser requires a guitar lick so complex that only a heavy metal master can attempt it.

Fretbase 5 has been tracked by NASA but is currently regarded by the agency as some kind of harmless college engineering art project. This project represents the 5^th attempt by Dr. Pinkerton to launch an orbiting safe house for the C.O.G. in case Dr. Pinkerton accidentally succeeds in destroying the Earth. Unfortunately, the previous 4 giant guitar shaped stations were destroyed by impacts with unidentified, but suspiciously pick-shaped spacecraft from beyond the solar system.

HYPNOTRONIC HELMET is a bucket shaped metal helmet that completely covers the head. Utilizing Magnetic Resonance Amplification the helmet amplifies the wearers will, forcing others to obey the mental commands of the wearer. The helmet seems to have only limited effectiveness because of the enormous power requirements, and at an effective power level it has the unfortunate tendency to kill its wearer after a few seconds of use.

LAZER GUITARS Dr. Z and A Rachnid’s bass and lead guitars are equipped with deadly blasters that fire a green energy bolt which travels up the neck and emanates from the headstock. The bolt can stun a normal sized person at 20 yards or kill at 10. These instruments also hold perfect tuning, and broadcast their sound waves accurately and loudly without the need for amplification.

LEMON-SLYME is a toxin that the C.O.G. developed some time ago to compete with Ebola and other popular viruses, based upon a glowing green substance believed to have fallen from space. However, during testing, the virus proved to be not QUITE as toxic as hoped. Interestingly enough, many of the test subjects reported that it had a crisp, clean, refreshing taste - before lapsing into their comas. Seizing on this opportunity, the C.O.G. decided to begin marketing Lemon-Slyme as a refreshing beverage, with catch phrases like "Lubrication for your larynx … for your life" and "Like motor oil for your mouth." Side effects include dizziness, vomiting, death, and high pitched singing. The product’s release is pending due to the ‘singing’ side effect…

The PINKYON TELEVIDEO SCREEN was Dr. Smerlington's first contribution to the C.O.G. It utilizes an energy wave/particle discovered by Dr. Pinkerton called the 'Pinkyon' which exists simultaneously in all dimensions. By modulating these particles it becomes possible to have real-time two-way video/audio communication between any two dimensions.

THE SONIC MIND PROBE is a portable piece of medical equipment developed by Dr. Pinkerton to extract a living human brain from a test subject sitting beneath it. This electronic device works by directing a stream of high intensity C.O.G. music into the left ear of the subject, inciting the brain to evacuate the cranium via a vacuum device attached to the right ear. The brain is then deposited into a chamber at the bottom of the device. The Sonic Mind Probe, like most normal pieces of hospital gear, is mounted on a convenient wheel-around base for easy mobility, especially when administering lobotomies to multiple test subjects.

TERRORVISION HELMET is a dome with a clear front panel that can be placed upon a person’s head. A tube connects the device to a portable recorder, and test tubes on the sides of the unit capture excess brain juice which the mind secretes while the device is in operation. Pinkerton designed the Terrorvision Helmet to record the worst nightmares of test subjects, in an attempt to analyze their weaknesses. Test results on members of the C.O.G. have been somewhat unpredictable; for instance, Dr. Rachnid’s greatest fear was found to be sunshine and cuddly puppies, whereas Dr. Pinkerton’s greatest fear was revealed to be the attack of a giant rabid bloodthirsty rabbit.

THE TIME DOOR was constructed by Dr. Pinkerton and his schoolmate, Dr. Krink Sidweal, a temporal physicist (whereabouts unknown.) The Time Door appears to be a freestanding shiny silver door frame ringed by small (but intensely bright when in use) lights. The Time Door has a simple keypad and lights on one of its panels, and when it is in operation, the door can open, permitting passage through a time corridor that it frames.

The Time Door's intended purpose was to serve as a personal time-portal, permitting, through forced time-wave feedback, a temporary portal through history for one person at a time. Dr’s. Pinkerton and Sidweal constructed the Time Door to alter history and steal future technology by plucking specific individuals from their proper times and bringing them into the present. (Dr. Pinkerton is not crazy enough to attempt time travel himself, deeming it far too dangerous.)

Unfortunately, since Dr. Sidweal’s disappearance, the Time Door has only been able to lock on to two historical personnages: an archer from 1013AD, and a highly evolved D.J. from 30^th century. Repeated attempts to use the Time Door have met with the exact same results over and over, and Dr. Pinkerton has given up, for the moment, on trying to employ the device in his plans of world domination. Nevertheless, the Time Door is kept in a separate chamber in the Lab, awaiting use.

A Strange Case of Horn Zombies - The Consortium of Genius’s efforts to take over guest band Egg Yolk Jubilee’s concert hall to broadcast their worldwide brain-dominating transmission results in the accidental creation of horn-zombies! Pinkerton succeeds in his quest, only to be killed by the overload of brain power. Featured C.O.G. songs: ‘Funky Fresh’, ‘It’s Morally Wrong’ Status: scripted and test-footage shot.

How NOT to Destroy the World - Pinkerton dispatches members of The Consortium of Genius to the four corners of the earth in an effort to split the world in half, despite the sleuthing efforts of guest band Fatter Than Albert and a fairy out for revenge. Pinkerton succeeds in cracking apart the world, unleashing a demon-saurus so vile that the C.O.G. must team up with Fatter Than Albert to stop it. Pinkerton is then killed by an avenging fairy, played by world-music songstress Beth Patterson. Featured C.O.G. songs: ‘March of the Skaletons’, ‘Die Blarney Die’ Status: scripted and test-footage shot.

Rock City Morgus - Dr. Pinkerton zeroes in on the exact frequency of bad cinema. After an unsuccessful attempt to test this on his own colleagues, C.O.G. kidnaps the lead singer of the guest band Rock City Morgue as a test subject. However, Morgus the Magnificent is bent on putting a stop to Pinkerton’s evil plans… Featured C.O.G. songs: ‘Destroy Old Things’, ‘LoBoToMy’ Status: scripted and test-footage shot.

Attack of the C.O.G.- Clones - Filbert’s new cloning machine produces copies of the C.O.G. that are improvements on their own counterparts, and potentially dangerous enough to actually conquer the world! Pinkerton and company must find their weakness before falling prey to their own clones. Featured C.O.G. song: ‘Android Woman’ Status: 2^nd draft script

C.O.G.Busters - During development of the C.O.G. Robot Android Prototype, Dr. Pinkerton discovers that ectoplasmic energy makes an ideal fuel, and dispatches his colleagues to the city on a ghost busting mission. There they encounter the Angel of Death and the band Ghost. After proving the invention works, they discover that their own lab is haunted by deceased former lab assistants! The scientists use the new invention on the spooks, but are horrified to discover that the robot has transformed into the evil Stay Puffed Dough Boy, who squishes Dr. Pinkerton under a mound of cookie dough. Featured C.O.G. song: ‘Death to the Angel of Death’ Status: 1^st draft script

The Trial of Dr. Pinkerton - Drumbot, disguised as Judge Max Terabyte, hypnotizes Dr. Z and Dr. A Rachnid into subjecting Dr. Pinkerton to a mock trial that resembles a series of game shows. Drumbot is finally unmasked and deprogrammed, but not before performing his own terrible robopop music with his own robot band.

C.O.G. vs. Sherlock Holmes - The great great great great great not-so-great grandson of the world's greatest detective begins making annoying calls to the laboratory, interrupting Dr. Pinkerton's experiments. When he and several other not so legendary figures show up at the front door looking for a wanted terrorist named 'Dr. Zed', Dr. A Rachnid finally resorts to extreme measures to deal with them.

Pinkerton For President - When Dr. Pinkerton tries to take over the world via politics, he finds his policies concerning matters of public health to be dangerously unpopular. So, he makes up a bunch of baldfaced lies to get elected. The weekly guest stars must stage a protest to expose the fraud.

Cowboys of Genius - After accidentally stealing a container of barbecue sauce from a crashed flying saucer, C.O.G. must disguise themselves as the Cowboys of Genius to try to evade alien abduction. The weekly guest stars appear as investigative government agents.

C.O.G. vs. the Wrath of Zarglar - Zarglar, the chairman of the Galactic League of Ultimate Evil, begins making threatening calls to the Secret Lab, demanding that they hand over all their inventions, in return for admission into his galactic league. Zarglar sends his local agents, the weekly guest stars. Rebuffed by Dr. Pinkerton, Zarglar finally shows up at the lab in person, but the scientists find out their adversary is only two feet tall.

Terrorvision - Dr. Pinkerton intends to get rich by recording the nightmares of test subjects (weekly guest stars) with his new invention, Terrorvision. Unfortunately, none of the nightmares are powerful enough. The invention is finally and forcibly placed on Pinkerton's head, televising a terrifying encounter with a bloodthirsty rabid rabbit.

C.O.G. vs. The Mob - Noted mob boss Antonioni Delucca sends his nephew 'Dr. A Pentatonic' to infiltrate the lab and take over the C.O.G. from within. Guest stars appear as mobsters.

First Annual Marathon Celebrity C.O.G. - A - Thon - In a desperate attempt to collect more BRAIN DONATIONS, the scientists hold a telethon consisting of awful music and acts, and threaten to keep going until their organ collecting goal is met.

Salesmen from Hell - C.O.G. attempt to break into the late night infomercial market with a bizarre variety of dangerous products that nobody needs. Weekly guest stars are disgruntled consumers.

Behind the Science - The origins of the C.O.G. are revealed in a series of flashbacks to Dr. Pinkerton's early days as an sociopathic teachers’ assistant.

Pinkerton’s Date - Dr.’s Rachnid and Z are pixillated to find out that the cause of Pinkerton’s recent distraction is a female super genius. Pinkerton’s infatuation fades when he finds that she has in mind a very different fate for the earth, and the other scientists must help him escape.

Six String Space Race - Dr. Pinkerton finally finishes his superlaser space platform and seeks the one guitar master who can pilot it. Yngwie Flattstein is the only guitarist who can perform the legendary six string closed hand inverted scorpion lick - the only lick that can fire FretBase 5’s superlaser. Dr. A. Rachnid is greatly annoyed that Yngwie can perform this lick and he cannot, without breaking a string. Rachnid has been practicing this lick on his off time running up the C.O.G.’s guitar string budget. On the eve of FretBase 5’s completion, Aliens from a metal planet find Yngwie and, believing him to be their long lost Metal god, convince him to return with them to their planet. Dr. Pinkerton, who believes he needs Yngwie to pilot FretBase 5, objects to this and tries to stop them. A dogfight ensues between Dr. A. Rachnid piloting FretBase 5, and Yngwie, flying the aliens smaller pick ship. Yngwie damages FretBase 5 when he strums the bases, breaking the strings. He then departs with the aliens believing he is going on tour.

Death-Bot 3000 - Dr. Pinkerton builds a super powerful kung fu android to wreak havoc on the world. Unfortunately a programming error turns it into a super force for good, ruining the C.O.G.’s plans and their reputations.

Copies of Genius – the C.O.G.’s dimension jumping schemes are sabotaged by the ultimate cover band from Dimension ‘N’, who travel to the C.O.G.’s home dimension at the same time that C.O.G. invades Dimension ‘M’ for a moneymaking world tour.

The following is a list of all current C.O.G. recorded material to date. Each episode will contain at least one of these songs. All songs currently exist as professional recordings, and can be remixed or reworded as necessary. This list grows regularly…

All I Wanna Do Is You - A meaty loaf of overbearing balladic cheese

Just a Drumbot - Drumbot’s whiny electro-ballad