Showerhead (c) 2002 by Jeff King & Lewis D'Aubin PREV TRACK NEXT TRACK Well the other night, I come home And I found her in the bathroom, a-cryin' She's carryin' on like her dang ol' best friend jus' died Seems there weren't nothin' that I could do To dry up both of her eyes And that's when I saw it, hangin' limp Jes a-danglin' by her side And I said, I ain't jealous of the showerhead I ain't jealous of no showerhead Cause I still got me a couple o' trick that'll make you come to bed I ain't got a variable speed switch, or sundries of that kind (Doncha know) I ain't jealous of the showerhead Cause my equipment works jes' fine So there she stood, all drippin' wet Thing musta been clogged, or busted And I couldn't tell you how I felt jes then, don't know if I was sorry Or jus' disgusted But by the look on her face, well I could tell that she was plumb frustrated That's the same way that I felt The first dozen or so times we dated But uh, I ain't jealous of the showerhead I ain't jealous of no showerhead I still got a trick up ma jeans that'll make you come to bed I ain't got no six foot hose, or sundries of that kind (Doncha know) I ain't jealous of the showerhead Cause my plumbin' works just fine And I ain't jealous of that collection of South American two foot long dildo's either! By the same token I also ain't jealous of that 220 volt vibe-o-rator you keep right next to the bed! Now on the other hand that mailman with that big giant mustache who comes around every morning after I go to work... I'm still thinkin' about that one! But uh, I ain't jealous of the showerhead I ain't jealous of no showerhead Cause I've got me a dang half ton hitch that'll tow you back to bed I ain't got a dual pulse or spray selectable nozzle, or sundries of that kind (Doncha know) I ain't jealous of the showerhead Pardon! Cause my equipment works just fine

"Will you pipe down out there, woman? Can'tcha see I'm tryin' to take my bi-annual bath?" I remember in 2001 when Jeff approached me with this song, which he had written just after having moved in with his girlfriend. The whole thing resembled one of Red Peters or Rodney Carrington's ribald tunes... and at first listen, I was quite resistant to what I though would be diluting to the character of the C.O.G. - to the point of attempting to completely rewrite the lyrics (if I had gotten away with it, this song would have been called, 'Frankencow'!) But Jeff rightfully persisted, and finally one night when my own wife complained about the showerhead in her bathroom, I relented! This was quite a fun recording to make, as it's laid back country groove required a whole different approach. For starters, I got my old friend Roddy Ory, who had been in a country cover band several years after the breakup of his progressive band, to perform the drum part. We used my newly built electric kit, recording the song with midi drums but using real cymbals. (During mixdown, I re-miked the snare through a real snare drum for that realistic rattle.) It took me a while to find my voice on this one; I ended up coming up with a 'Vince Gill' impression that suited the recording (difficult to render that croon live, though.) Things got really crazy when I called in Beth Patterson to lay down some banjo parts. She really got into the spirit of the thing, improv-ing a lot of the snarky female commentary heard throughout, and adding lots of tasty vocal harmonies to my 'campfire' background parts! The final touch was originally supposed to be a violin part on the solo, after the guitar solo, to replace the midi violin Jeff had stubbed in on the demo. In the end, we never did secure a fiddle player, but Ron Keller stepped up to the plate and instead laid down a laid-back harmonica solo that fit the piece perfectly, especially under the addition of my bridge patter about "vibe-o-rators" (thanks, Mojo Nixon!) and the guy "with the giant mustache that comes around every morning after I go to work..." Final touches on this song included water effects from my own shower, and a little ending stinger chord that was digitally constructed after the fact. I'm quite proud of the mix on this song; it's one of the best sounding things on the whole CD, and in the end, didn't require much in the way of mastering. Credits Drums...........Roddy Ory Guitars.........Jeff King Banjo...........Beth Patterson Bass............Jim Fairchild Piano...........Jeff King Lead vocal......Lewis D'Aubin Backing vocals..Beth Patterson, Lewis D'Aubin Recorded and mixed 2003 at C.O.G. Secret Lab, Harahan LA