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Mad Scientists Threaten City!
by Nixx Dedhed
Am I really safe? Is the world about to end? Do you have the courage to stand against the evil one? Many people have been asking themselves these very questions since the appearance of these heavy, metal alloy letters C, O, and G seen floating over the city of New Orleans during the past year. Some interpret the phenomenon as a portent of the imminent return of the Black Plague. Others have linked it to nocturnal reports of a hideous Rabbid rabbit. Still others point to the increases sightings of the Angel of Death. When asked for comment, Dr. Pinkerton, esteemed leader of the Consortium of Genius, replied cryptically, "Why don't you shut up and attend our lectures!"
Lecture To Be Held At Prestigious University
by Krink Sidweal
An important lecture is scheduled to be held at prestigious universities across the country. The lectures will begin promptly at 10:00 pm, when special guests Igor Kitty expose all present to high levels of sonic radiation. Following a brief intermission, the Consortium of Genius will expose and explain the dark side of science with such inventions as the Sonic Mind Probe, the Radio Terrorscope, and the Time Door. Electromagnetically shielded clothing is encouraged but not required.
Scientist Missing, Presumed Dead
by Dr. Procyon Lotor
Have you seen this man? Dr. Cornelius Smerlington, one time winner of the Prestigious Gold Medal, has been missing for four months, say undisclosed sources. Known primarily for his research into the generation of low frequency waveforms, Dr. Smerlington had become a familiar fixture during lectures by the Consortium of Genius. "He had a habit of standing quite near, perhaps too near, to the Time Door," says Dr. Milo T. Pinkerton, leader of the C.O.G. "Who knows what might have happened to him? Mooooohahahahahahaha!"
If you, or anyone you know, have any information on the whereabouts of this man, please report this to Dr. Pinkerton.
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