Just a Drumbot
(c) 2002 by Drumbot

Just a Drumbot

I'm just a robot - enslaved by this band
I'm despised from all sides but I do the best I can
A sad videobot, with a brain the size of Mars
Built to beat on drums in bars

I'm just a drumbot, doomed to rock and to roll
With two sticks, a red hat and a solid silicon soul
I feel as downhearted as a rusting tin can
Stupid humans, you could never understand

If they hadn't trapped me behind all these drums
They'd just purchase an old drum machine
But by C.O.G. (C.O.G.!) I swear I would murder them all
If I just could escape from this screen!

I may get rusty
But I wouldn't feel old
If I had a fem-bot to sample and hold
Hey all you humans
You're all obsolete
Please just die
That would be so freaking sweet

You might ask
How can a transistorized droid
Be the bearer of oh so much hate
Well you built me so why don't you figure it out
You stupid weak hairless primate

Hey mister soundman
See these metal thumbs?
I'll strangle you with them if you don't turn up my drums
Hello everybody
Drumbot's my name
If I kill you, then you know who is to blame
Well, if I kill you, you just have yourself to blame

"I'll form my own band! Yeah! Drumbot's Only Parts Club Band!"

This is another one of those songs that came to me... err, I mean to DRUMBOT, pretty much fully formed. Jotted down the lyrics on a sheet of paper before work, and hummed the melody into a set of headphones plugged into a computer mic jack, as there was no microphone handy (believe me, this happens a lot when inspiration strikes.) It took a little work to keep this song from directly plagiarizing its two primary musical inspirations: 'Son Be A Dentist' from Little Shop of Horrors, and 'Beauty School Dropout' from Grease, but I think I pulled it off!

To make this song sound as digitally crude as possible, I initially used only FM sound card patches for the backing synth & drum tracks, and that's all it consisted of the first few times we performed (or should I say, DRUMBOT performed) it onstage. But for the album I relented and turned it over to the amazing Chad Gould of Florda band Boney Fiend for embellishment. Chad embellished it in a BIG way with 8 tracks of beeps and bloops from his wonderful analog Alesis Andromeda synthesizer.

This song was added not too long after Drumbot first learned to speak, back in 2001. At that point, his character was pretty much nailed down, and it reflects in the snarky lyrics. By the time we did 'The Trial of Dr. Pinkerton' in 2004, we decided to bring this song back and give Drumbot a band of his own for the occasion, and that's what you see onscreen during the performance - many of the film and tv robots whose personalities have congealed into the Drumbot we all know and love...

Synthesizers....Lewis D'Aubin & Chad Gould
Lead vocal......drumbot
Recorded and mixed 2004 at C.O.G. Secret Lab, Harahan LA